I still can't believe he's gone..it just doesn't seem real. Today didn't seem real. I got to school..and it was so quiet. Extra counselors were brought in and there were rooms open for people to go to. Blue stairs was packed with grade 12s..all mourning. We went to AG first, where the teachers made an announcement about the accident and about Zach's death. I, along with a couple others, started crying before the teacher finished speaking. First class, Tourism, we did nothing..some went on the computer, others went to one of the counseling rooms. I held together all class, and then as I left the room, my friend Harrison was standing there, waiting. He gave me a huge hug and I broke down. Another friend was there to give me a hug as well. We then had regular AG, which was extremely silent. Chorus was more routine..we sang two songs. One is called Prayer of the Children..I tried to make it through, but I couldn't. I had to stop singing a few times because I was starting to cry..then I let go at the end..I had to leave the class for a bit. During lunch, me and a few people went to a room with a friends youth leader and prayed for the whole time. That was awesome. Biology was hard...Zach was in my biology class. My teacher said she didn't want to teach..and didn't know when she would be able to. She canceled our unit test and our final project. A few of us sat in the room and just talked to her..crying and remembering the good things about him. Then I had my spare, which I spent most of in the library..a few other friends were in there, and they all tried to cheer me up, which was nice. I really noticed how many supportive friends I have..not many of my close friends were friends with Zach, but they knew I was, so they were very comforting. I've never had so many hugs in one day. It still pains me to think about him..to see his picture. I can still hear his laugh...see his smile..my heart hurts. I want him to come back..walk into the school and say "hey guys..i'm here..i'm fine.." but i know that won't happen. Katey, one of the girls in the accident who was injured, was at school today. She had cuts and bruises on her face and body. Abby, the driver, was there too. I feel for her because even though she has many supporters, many people are blaming her as well. Jordan, Zach's girlfriend, has taken to blaming herself because she begged him to get in the van because she didn't know anyone else.
I've been praying like crazy..for Zach's family, Abby, Jordan..the other students involved in the accident, everyone who was affected by this. As I was reading my bible, I found a couple verses.
Psalm 71:20-21 - Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.
Revelation 21:4 - He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
These verses really gave me peace and comfort. I know that Zach is better now...free of pain. And I know everyone else is going to make a full recovery. God is here in the situation and has been all along. He will heal and He will provide. All we need to do is trust in Him. It hurts to say goodbye to Zach..but its not the last time I'll see him. One day, when it's my time, I know he'll be there waiting for me.
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