Sunday, September 20, 2009

It's been too long

Now, my title to this post has two meanings.
One's been too long since I last blogged! And I plan on doing something about that. Seeing as I have to work in an hour, I can't do a lot yet. So I will get back on and give you some big updates as soon as possible. I promise!

The second meaning to this title, is it's been too long since I last saw Olivia. Today is the two year mark. I wrote a little letter to her, and I want to post it here.

Olivia Erica Johnson, Livvy-Jivvy, Flash Star, O.J., did two years go by so fast, yet so slow?
I think about you everyday Olivia. I dream about you every night.
I just wish there was some way to see you again. To hug you one more time. To hear your laugh, even for just a moment.
I still see your smile everywhere I go.
I'm excited but nervous about this year and Guardian Angel. Please watch over us as we walk. Guide us through this year and on our journey to find a cure.
There's so much that has happened since you left. I wish we could get together and talk.
I miss talking to you.
I miss your smile.
I miss your laugh.
I miss your voice.
I miss your strength.
I miss you.
I wish I could bring you back. But I would never want you to be in pain again. You're so much better where you are. God is taking care of you.
I woke up last night at 4:37am. That's the same time I woke up exactly two years ago. I woke up both times unable to breath and felt sick. Then I felt as if someone laid their hand on my shoulder and I swear I heard your whisper.

In the words of Miley Cyrus (whom I know you love so much ;P)
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in awhile
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you.

And in the words of Sam Middleton,
Your smile is in my eyes
Your laughter in my ears
Where you used to be
There is a hole
And I may not see you
But I know you're here
Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle
I dropped a tear in the ocean
When I find it again,
I'll stop missing you
If only I could go back
Back to that day
I'd say so much more
I'd give you one last hug
If only I had known
I try to let go
But it's impossible
I can't forget
But I'd never want to
Please be with me
Until my time because
We only part to meet again

Frick I miss you babe <3

Rest In Peace Olivia Erica Johnson
~November 20, 1991 - September 20, 2007~